Finding Motivation When Our Will Power Is Gone
Although, I originally wrote this regarding weight loss and exercise, it remains true no matter where or what your struggling with!
One of the biggest misconceptions that I face as a Hypnotherapist is this belief that I will magic away a client’s desire for food, or snap my fingers and they will head to the gym automatically. And believe me, there are times I’ve wished someone would do that to me!
But the truth is, that regardless of hypnotherapy, what we eat and how we exercise will remain our choice completely. I’ve spent years working on my reducing my weight, aiming to be fit and healthy and now as a Meditation Teacher and Positivity Coach, working out how to best help others too. So please never, ever think that what I share comes from a place of judgement, or that I couldn’t understand. I’ve done the diets, I’ve done the shakes instead of meals, the patches to reduce my hunger and more. And I, like so many of my clients have been in that desperate please of just wanting somebody or something to help me change.
And so what I’ve put together in my blogs, has developed from my own experiences, as well as those of my clients. I’ve seen many repeat patterns of thinking and behaving so I can assure you, no matter how difficult you are finding it to lose weight, or remain healthy, you are not alone.
But first off, what is it you believe about yourself? Do you believe you can lose weight and keep it off? And let’s point out right now, believing it, and knowing it are two very different things. We know that if we eat very healthy, deny ourselves all forms of sugar and junk food, and exercise every day we will lose weight.
But, do you believe you can? Do you believe you have it within you to stick by changes? Do you believe you are good enough to lose weight and keep it off?
Whatever you want to achieve, it’s worth taking the time to recognise if you really do believe that it is a realistic future for yourself. I’m a huge believer in the saying “If you can imagine it, you can do it”.
So to start things off, ask yourself, what is it you want. And get down to details.
You want to be slimmer, but what for? Is it to wear different clothes? Is it to have more energy? Live longer?
Because whatever your reason, your desire to be slimmer and healthier has to be more than your love of food. The desire to be healthier needs to be more than your love of life as it is.
If you find yourself spending all your spare time catching up on your favourite shows, then your motivation to lose weight will need to be higher than finding out what the next plot line is.
If you get into your pj’s straight after work, and that’s why you don’t exercise, then your motivation needs to be higher than your love of chilling out each night.
So if you’re feeling frustrated that your motivation is low, or just feeling like you’ve got no willpower right now, you can try this little exercise. You can type it, but it’s better getting a pen and paper as it’s far more personal when in your own handwriting.
I want you to write down the important things you spend time on during the week. What are your priorities right now? Where do you invest your energy or time? It might be a very long list or it might be very small, and it will be completely unique to you.
Once you have a list of the important things you spend time on and can see what your priorities are, it’s time to notice where you are on this list.
Because if your wellbeing is not a priority of some sort, then your motivation is not going to gear you towards change. If we want something we have not got, we have to do something different to get it.
So if you are still reading this and thinking “Uh oh” and “how am I ever going to lose weight when I’m not even a priority” It’s time to appreciate yourself a little more.
When we value ourselves, we recognise our own potential and what we bring to life. When we are in a place of love and acceptance of ourselves, we choose to treat our bodies with care and respect.
A great place to begin when transforming our thoughts, so that we can love, accept and appreciate ourselves a little more is to use our very own "Sponsor". Your Sponsor can be someone who loves you very much, someone you may know that always has your best interest at heart, or maybe even someone that inspires you, or that you admire in some way. They can be real or fictional, from history or fantasyland. I’ve had all kinds of answers from clients over years, from someone’s sister, mother or best friend to famous people like Dame Judy Dench and even Anne Boleyn.
Take a few moments to connect to whoever pops into your mind, and explore their values, their beliefs and even their personality, and most importantly, what made you pick this person as your person.
So once you’ve spent a few minutes thinking over who your own Sponsor will be, I want to write down 3 things they might say if they saw your priority list, and that you weren’t on it.
And yes I know, you will never really know for sure what they might say. I just want you to use your wonderful imagination for a few moments.
Some example questions to ask your MM might be:
1. What's holding me back?
2. Can I do this?
3. How shall I start?
You might be surprised by what you write down, and for some of us, that change in perspective can be the first of many positive steps towards change. I really hope you enjoy the challenge, and find it useful.
Let me know how you get on!
Love & Light Jennifer x