There are always times when we begin to feel pulled apart a bit, lots of demands on us physically or mentally, too many things on the ever growing to do list, supporting other peoples tough times, whilst staying on top of our own.
And life can become very full! And that can be a great thing.
Lots of things going on can help you realise your potential, sometimes it reinforces our belief that we are valued and needed by others. It can also give us focus and meaning in the day to day.
However, it can be hard to feel good about life’s fullness when we are also feeling scattered, lost, confused, stressed or downright drained.
When I begin to feel this way, I also practice grounding myself, mentally and physically to help myself feel calmer and more capable.
Getting grounded helps us feel a sense of calmness & relaxation with whatever is happening either around us, or to us. It’s means we are relaxing, and refocussing ourselves, with what is going on, from a deeper place of, ‘I’m ok, I can manage this’.
Like anything, it takes some practice and persistence, because changing our mindset, habits and outlook isn’t often something that comes easily (especially if we are used to a lot of inner criticism). But the good news is that comforting, soothing and reassuring ourselves, is something that can develop and become part of a regular selfcare and grounding practice. So below I’m sharing some thoughts on how I get grounded and manage when life get’s crazy.
Notice when you’re ungrounded.
The first thing we have to do is notice when we’re feeling, overwhelmed, chaotic, unanchored or groundless. More than just stressed, it’s often when we also become forgetful and easy distracted, and unable to concentrate on one task at a time.
It might be that you don’t easily notice this or your early warning signs, especially if your used to living in this high state of being, and always run around like a chicken without a head.
So the first practice is just noticing and being honest with yourself to say: I’m feeling chaotic and scattered. I’m feeling groundless and overwhelmed.
You can start to notice how hectic your activities are. How distracted are you? Are you picking up your phone every 2 minutes? Are you unable to complete a task as you try to multi task unsuccessfully?
You can then notice how it feels to be scattered even as sensation in the body. What sensations can you notice of groundlessness? Do you have more headaches or feel unable to eat, or even the opposite and comfort eat?
Once you become aware of how you are feeling, it’s up to you whether you choose to continue and ignore these signs, or practice grounding yourself.
If you choose to help yourself, you are practicing forms of self care. Not only are you listening and trusting yourself, your honouring your needs as you practice grounding yourself. There are lots of ways to do this, and no one way is correct. So here I’m sharing what I do, and I hope it helps you begin too.
Notice how I’m feeling. Not just thoughts, but the bodily sensations of groundlessness and chaos. Perhaps sensations of frustration, anxiety or fear.
Breathe deeply into my centre.
Deep, wide breaths that allow me to feel spaciousness, as well as release surface tension.
Let my muscles relax as I breathe deeply. Let myself rest in the groundlessness. Exhaling fully and completely and focus only on breathing for a few minutes.
Find some way to connect to the world around me: to feel gratitude for this moment, to feel appreciation for the storm, to feel my connection to other people, accept the world just as it is. In this way, I can feel less like a vessel tossed about in stormy waters … and more a part of the ocean itself.
Feeling grateful to be alive, to be connected, to be able to behold this breath taking world. Let myself feel wonder at reality in front of me.
Reassure and remind.
Reassure myself, I will find a way to better manage this, whether it’s asking for help, whether it’s by making a plan, prioritising or even letting go of things that are draining me that don’t actually require my attention or input. And remind myself, up until this point in my life, I've always found a way to do things, and whilst I've not always handled everything as well I may have liked at the time, I have made found a way through and am still growing and learning as a person each day.
I don’t always practice exactly like this. Simply pausing and breathing can sometimes be enough, and sometimes a little gratitude or understanding is all that's needed.
When I make time to practice grounding myself, not only does it help me feel better, it becomes a powerful self care experience.
When we ground ourselves in this way, breathing and relaxing with what is present in the moment, it makes something new possible.
It gives our self a chance to reset, take stock of where we are and what we can do next. Whilst we may not be able to completely change or fix things, we are staying mindful of our self in the here and now knowing - we are capable.
Our lives are often chaotic and stormy. We can be overwhelmed, scattered, confronted by unexpected event, which can shut us down or have us go into anxious overdrive. But we also have a chance to be present and acknowledge (not try to ignore) life’s fullness and our part in it.
When we begin acknowledging and notice ourselves in the overwhelm, and then ground ourselves, we often notice we are feeling fearful, stressed, unhappy, resentful or frustrated. This is your honesty, and part of staying true to yourself. It’s ok, to not be ok, and look for support or solutions, or sometimes just noting that this too shall pass.
From this grounded place, we can acknowledge the fullness of life with openness. We might feel fear, frustration, difficulty, but we are able to be with all of that with openness and honesty. We practice opening, relaxing, being with the storm, over and over. And the truth is, you have been in the storm many times and whilst you can’t control it, you can choose how you take charge of the next step.
Love & Light Jennifer xx